Characters in Town

“Pati, Pati, Pati” man: The story behind this guy is as follows.  He was once a drug addict, was married and lived in town.  One day he came across his wife sleeping with another man in their house.  So, since he was drugged up he went crazy and killed both his wife and her lover.  He was subsequently arrested and sent to jail.  He found God in jail and upon his release opened his own church!  He is now the pastor in this church and daily rides his bike back and forth around town selling “Patis” which are sort of like an empanada.  You could hear him coming several hundred feet away as he called “Pati, Pati, Pati”!!

Machete blow-out:  While out in town one night with friends, we were all at Mangos, I was hanging about outside and noticed that in between Mangos and the sandwich shop hiding in the shadows was a guy that lived in P.V. and frequently went to Tasty Waves.  He did odd jobs around town and was quite the fit individual.  Anyway, I noticed him cowering in the shadows so to speak so I asked if he was ok?  He replied no, and that he had… let’s politely say… “soiled” himself… As he came out of the shadows I could first smell that he indeed did soil himself, but then I noticed that he had a huge slit in his left shoulder blade that was quite gnarly looking and bloody!  I asked what happened and he was a bit incoherent, so I called my other friend along to see if he could help.  Eventually the ambulance was called as were the cops.  However, the ambulance never arrived because of the cost involved to do so, so only the cops came and offered that the guy take a taxi to the hospital to get sewn up!  Of course the injured guy would have to pay for the taxi ride himself… Anyway, so the final story of what happened finally came out like this… The guy that got hurt, let’s call him Paul, was apparently doing drugs on the hood of a car parked across from Mangos… The owner of the car, a well respected Rasta man of the village saw him and asked him not to do the drugs on his car… Paul however, being high on apparently several drugs at the time got in a huff about being asked to stop his drug use and went to his bicycle to grab his machete.  He marched back to the Rasta man flailing his machete around in an attempt to frighten the Rasta man away.  The Rasta man however simply grabbed the machete from Paul’s hand and smacked Paul on his left shoulder blade with the flat end of the machete just to scare Paul out of his lunacy.  Being extremely sharp however, the machete blade still managed to slice a huge gash on Paul’s shoulder.  And well, needless to say, this scared Paul so much that he literally sh*t himself…

Cannibal??:  To my knowledge this individual was not on any particular drug… However he was known around town as the dog eater and potentially people eater too… He was a wild looking individual and literally sharpened his teeth with a file so that they resembled that of a cat or the canines of a dog… NOT kidding either!!  You would see him wandering around town often, and though I’d never witnessed him doing anything crazy, every time a posting went up around town about a missing little dog, you just HAD to wonder…

Pipa man: Known also as Guapo (Spanish for handsome) this older Rasta man was a staple all over town!  Very nice and always happy (offered to marry me daily!) he would come around and sell pipas, or bananas, or limes to local businesses.  His main crop of choice to sell however was the pipa… Pipas are a cousin to coconuts and are known to have healing powers in their milk.  They grow just like coconuts and are often served with their tops hacked off and a straw.  Personally I never liked the taste of pipas, but it’s one of those things you have to try “when in Rome” :).  Anyway Guapo would frequently come by basically trading his pipas for beer and though several businesses would be fully stocked with pipas that he had collected the previous week, they would still accept more so to give Guapo his beer…


On to Border Crossing………..

Back to Puerto Viejo

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